Congratulations Billy and Lilly!

I’ve attended countless funerals since I’ve arrived in Africa, but a couple of weeks ago I attended my first wedding. It’s difficult for couples to get married here in Botswana. One of the primary reasons for this is “bogadi” or bride price. Traditionally the groom has to pay a price to the brides family, a certain number of cows, as a compensation for taking their daughter. This price has become more and more difficult for men to pay as the number of cows has become larger. In most cases the brides family will refuse to let the marriage take place if the bride price cannot be paid. In a few instances the family will allow the couple to get married by the magistrate, then slowly pay off the bogadi after they’re married. Once it’s completely paid the bride and groom are allowed to celebrate the marriage with a reception. This is the arrangement that Billy and Lilly were able to make with their families. They are fortunate as many families will not allow this...they are afraid they will never get paid.

Billy and Lilly, a couple in our church, were married by the magistrate a few years ago, but now that the bogadi is paid off it was made “official” with a great celebration. I arrived early, around 10 am, with some ladies from our church to help with decorations. Though the service was supposed to begin around 11:30 it finally got started about 1:30 (African time!). The groom started out in a procession down the road from the house with all the men, while the bride was at the other end of the road with all the women. They began singing and dancing and walking towards each other until the bride and groom met together in front of the house, then they paraded around the courtyard, with everyone joining in the singing and dancing. After the procession everyone went to their seats where a large meal was served. Pastors and elders in the family took turns giving messages or words of encouragement to the bride and groom. After the messages all the groomsmen and women (or boys and girls in Billy and Lilly’s case) have a dance that they perform for the bride and groom. Once all this is finished everyone begins dancing and the party ends when everyone gets tired!

Photos: Billy and Lilly in the wedding procession; all of the women from our church with Lilly; some of the women from our church (Janet and Josephine) helping to prepare the meal while waiting for the bride and groom to arrive.